


Quartermasters in cars not getting tea.

by Danger_Zone24



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: BAMF Q, Car driving, Epic car driving, M/M, Not really. But I think he is, Possible funnies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 15:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8806966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danger_Zone24/pseuds/Danger_Zone24
Summary: Basically Q is in a reasonably priced car on a mission (just kidding about the reasonably priced bit. There's no way this car wouldn't be maxed out to the max and cost a trillion dollars). Driving ensures. Obviously.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Saw this prompt on Facebook. Hopefully I did it justice.

Hightailing it out of the building Q ran to his car, waiting hidden in the alleyway. The car rumbled to life the moment he got in to the drivers seat; after he figured out the palm print recognition for the guns, coding cars to a single person was pretty simple. Though after the whole debacle with James and 009s car, he now double and triple checked he had the right people encoded, and removed any that weren’t needed. He had a whole team of people working full time to get all the bugs and problems with the program sorted, because James always found a way to get any car he wanted, any time he wanted.

Personally, Q thought James bribed his minions. So once again he was left to re-bribe them and become Supreme Kitten Overlord again, which was no mean feat to do over and over. But he knew if he did something totally badass and epic, he might win them over for good.

Which was why he was on this mission in the first place.

Oh yes, he gave the ‘official’ reasons to M, James and the rest of them. The ‘there’s no one else who can do this one, because there’s computers involved’ and ‘James might’ve been able to do it, possibly, but he’s injured, so yeah’ excuses.

Honestly though, computers weren’t _that_ needed and James’s injuries hadn’t stopped him before from going on missions, but Q made sure he was quite convincing. It did become a great cover for his wonderful, super cool, absolutely brilliant (if he could say so himself) plan. He wasn’t nervous at all. No, not one bit.

Now if James could just stop yelling into his ear, he needed to concentrate. Q was sure it wasn’t necessary, and there was no way in hell HE did that when James was on missions, no matter how much the other man insisted he did. All he needed to do was get the bastards following him off his tail and then some how get to the starting place of his plan.

It was taking longer then expected because instead of telling him where the tailgaters were located, James was trying to tell him how to drive the car and which roads to take. It was as if James had forgotten that Q had made the said car, knew how to drive it (unbelievable, I know), and also had a photographic memory. Really, James needed to stop stressing; it was a low profile mission.

Cue rant about how Q had made the mission out to be more complicated then it was, how he shouldn’t put himself in any unnecessary danger, how he could possibly die; not that James didn’t do the ANY of that. But Q’s favourite part of the speech was when James informed him that above all else he was putting James’s favourite car into more danger then he should. James even had the minions running statistics on what could go wrong with Q behind the wheel. Everything was covered, from minor scratches to driving it off a bridge into a river, which weirdly was the most likely thing to happen, even though there were no rivers or bridges anywhere remotely near him. The closest river was at least three whole countries away. Besides he preferred to blow his cars up, unlike James who drowned his. It was a mistake to mention this.

Finally Q just did what James regularly did, muted the radio and turned off the tracking devices. With the few moments of peace and quiet he had brought himself, before the minions hacked back into the devices, he did some pretty cool turns and raced towards the starting line of his plan. Once he was there he flipped the radios back on and pressed a secret switch he had recently installed in the car, which would cut the tracking devices when he wanted and keep them from being hacked, thus entering the next stage of his epic plan.

Laughing as James started carrying on again in his ear, Q planted his foot down on the accelerator and put the advanced driving course he had recently done just for this into practise. He could see why James never really followed his instructions like ever on missions; this was really, really fun. He should organise to go on more missions, if James didn’t blow a vein over this one (it was going to be a close one, medical would have to be alerted soon).

Pushing the car to the limits, Q did some epic drifting and turning putting The Stig to shame, before finally ending the whole thing in a cloud of smoke as he did some donuts and figure eights.

He told James to shut up and zoom out the map of the city. James, in true fashion, didn’t.

So Q grabbed his ipad from the passenger seat, hacked into Q-Branch and zoomed out the map himself, showing where he had been and the message he had written. James continued to rant for a few minutes before a minion poked him. Silence followed as Q nervously waited, watching a very stunned James on his ipads screen, fearing he might’ve broken him.

With sirens in the background, Q started the car up again and told the minion who poked James to do it again.

He didn’t get a word from Q-Branch the entire ride home. Sweating, Q clambered out of the car, after parking in James’s usual spot in the underground car park, just as the elevators opened and James stomped out with the entire hoard of minions, as well as M, Eve and Tanner. Shifting on his feet, he pointed out the car was unscratched and in working order (and so was he, truth be told).

James just grumbled before grabbing Q into a fierce hug, twirling him around and then doing that thing new husbands do with their wives on their first kiss as husbands and wives (or wives and wives etc if it was that kind of wedding). The dip and kiss? Is it called that? I honestly don’t know, but everyone cheered and proclaimed Q as the One and Only True Supreme Kitten Overlord. Once James had finished kissing Q senseless, he told him off lightly for doing something so ridiculously cool and out shining any proposal he’d ever do.

M finally had enough and ordered everyone back to work, except for the two lovebirds. They where to go on a honeymoon, though James had to drive because Q needed to hack into the marriage records, and send an order of Champagne to Mi6, remembering to add an extra bottle of scotch to go to M’s office on top of the bottle of bubbly he was already getting.


End file.
